


you know how it is

by ichigobun



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexting, Smut, friends to idiots, just guys being dudes, sylvain and dimitri are roommates, sylvain and dimitri share one brain cell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:27:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24010537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichigobun/pseuds/ichigobun
Summary: "one time a girl asked me to send her a jerkoff video so i was like aight and i sent it and she was like 'omg i meant of you jacking off not you jacking someone else off' me and my homie were so embarrassed"orsylvain gives dimitri a handjob.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Sylvain Jose Gautier & My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 23
Kudos: 117





	you know how it is

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by [@spreadbhar 's post](https://twitter.com/spreadbhar/status/1256721831232331776) on twitter lol  
>    
> hi umm this is my first fic ever! i've also never written smut before so hopefully this isn't that bad :>  
>    
> i couldn't stop thinking about this so here i am finally doing it!!! this is purely just from the dimivain worms in my brain i’m sorry LOL
> 
> (also: title is from you know how it is by kero kero bonito, v good song)

It had been quite the uneventful day.

Sylvain woke up a bit late this morning, but he didn't have any specific obligations. Sundays were usually spent cycling between laying on the couch and laying in his bed, either position with some piece of technology in his hands to keep himself entertained. On occasion, he would get a sudden burst of energy and decide to sweep the floor or do the dishes, although that was mostly his roommate's role. After all, Dimitri was more particular about completing the job thoroughly. If Sylvain’s cleaning wasn’t meticulous enough to Dimitri’s standards, he would end up doing it anyway (“Sylvain, you forgot to put detergent in when you ran the dishwasher...”).

So, sometimes it’s just easier not to put in the effort.

The hours of the day blurred together, and between the irregular snack runs, scrolling endlessly through social media, watching Dimitri play Animal Crossing on the couch, accidentally turning a thirty-minute power nap into two hours (or was it three?), and masturbating in his room simply because he was bored, it was already 11pm. 

His phone buzzed on his bed and he reached for it, haphazardly swiping his arm behind him in a blind attack on his blankets and pillows. _Where the fuck is it_ , he grumbled internally, until he retracted his hand and found it near his head under a plush pillow. _God._

Sylvain rolled onto his back and held it above his face, a dangerous position considering the amount of times his phone has slipped out of his hand and crashed onto his poor nose. To his surprise, the notification was a text message from Byleth, a cute girl he met at school. They were simply talking - well, maybe they’ve made out a few times. And maybe she’s sucked his dick in a bathroom stall at school and it inevitably escalated to him fucking her against the wall without a condom and she had a pregnancy scare. Maybe.

byleth <3:  
_hiiii_  
11:01pm

This was how it began every time. And he would outdo her every time. Why did she use so many i’s? Whatever. 

me:  
_hiiiiiiiiiiii_  
11:02pm 

Her chat bubble popped up immediately at his response. Should he stare at it until she’s done? It feels kind of creepy, like he’s overly eager for something, but he had nothing else to occupy his time. So he rested his gaze on the ellipses.

… 

…

…

… 

_Jeez, she’s taking a while_ \--

byleth <3:  
_could u send me a jerkoff vid? i’m so horny rn lol_  
11:04pm

A puff of air escaped his nose in a soft chuckle. She spent all that time just typing that?

me:  
_hmm, let me think about it ;p_  
11:04pm

byleth <3:  
_> :I_  
11:04pm

He put on a smug facade, except, in reality, he had never done anything like that before. In the past, most girls freely sent Sylvain nudes and he’d offer dick pics in return. Nobody’s ever asked him for a video. 

Wait… does she want him to…?

In a swift movement, he leapt from the warmth of his bed and made his way out of his room, his mind already set on his mission. He’d ask the one other person he was comfortable showing his cluelessness to.

However, that one other person was currently sitting on the couch in a hunched over position that reminded Sylvain of a goblin. Dimitri had a blanket wrapped over his messy head of hair and around his body, sweaty hands clutching at the joycons as he attempted to create a pond in Animal Crossing. Sylvain watched in silent agony as Dimitri dug a hole, then accidentally refilled it with dirt, then redug the hole, then refilled it with dirt, then redug the hole, then--

“Hey, I have a question.”

With a shocked yelp, Dimitri jumped out of his position, straightening his posture and smoothing his hair, ruffled from static. “Apologies... I-- What is it?”

Sylvain chuckled and closed the distance between them in a few strides, settling down on the couch cushion next to him. “This girl I’m talking to asked for a ‘jerkoff video,’ do you know what she means exactly?” He brought his hand up to his head, scratching at an imaginary itch in his hair, a nervous habit of his.

A soft blush made its way up Dimitri’s cheeks. “O-oh.. she’s into that?”

Mirroring his flustered roommate, he felt his face heat up. “What do you mean, into that?” Sylvain questioned with slightly frantic energy. _So it’s true…_?

Dimitri looked away, pulling at his bottom lip with his teeth ever-so-slightly. “I’ve seen it before… I-- I think she wants to see you... touch someone else.” His voice trailed off at the end as he aggressively avoided his roommate’s expectant gaze. Sylvain noticed that even the tips of Dimitri’s ears were getting red… _How cute._

So it is true. “Well,” Sylvain started, “I’d hate to ask Felix to come over this late, and I don’t wanna disappoint this girl.” Thinking back to the pregnancy scare a few weeks ago, his eyes lit up in realization. “In fact, I think I actually owe it to her. Would you… be willing to help a friend out?” He let out a nervous laugh. “Unless--”

“Yes.”

Sylvain looked up in surprise at his friend’s swift and sure response, meeting Dimitri’s determined gaze. However, it seemed that Dimitri was just as surprised, another flush creeping up his face and eyes widening after realizing how eager he must have sounded. “I-- I mean, sure, haha, anything to help a friend out.” He offered a weak smile.

Sylvain returned the grin. “Thanks!” 

They sat in an apprehensive silence for a few moments, not knowing how exactly to begin. “Well, I guess I’ll just--” Sylvain’s fingers crept around Dimitri’s waist (noting how firm the muscles of his abdomen felt under his touch), trailed down to his hips and hooked around the waistband of his sweatpants. Amber eyes glanced up at Dimitri, awaiting his approval, which was then provided with a nod and a nervous smile. With an upward curve of his lips, Sylvain managed to grab ahold of his underwear as well and revealed him with a swift movement. Dimitri’s length sprang up, stiff and kind of… huge. Sylvain chuckled, “Hard already?”

“I-- uh--”

“I don’t mind, just makes it easier.” He winked, ruffling his roommate’s short blonde hair. “But, uh, how should we do this? Should I like, record the whole thing, or just the end? Should I get your whole body in it or just your dick?”

Dimitri stammered, “Um, maybe just… when I finish, because if I took a long time that would be awkward... and don’t get my face in it!” He held Sylvain’s gaze with an assertion that had been completely lacking in the interaction beforehand. 

Sylvain flashed his teeth in a grin and raised his hands in defense. “Alright, alright. Just your dick. Gotcha.”

They shared a moment of laughter before Sylvain guided Dimitri’s body to lay down and he settled on one of his muscular thighs, pushing a knee between his legs. Dimitri propped himself up on his elbows and let his upper back rest against the arm of the couch. 

Without a moment to waste, Sylvain’s hand found its way around Dimitri’s shaft, their eyes meeting as he slowly began to stroke up and down his length. He was thicker and longer than Sylvain, and he felt his cheeks heating up at the fleeting thought of how much work it would take to fit it inside of him (that would never happen... right?). Dimitri’s hand gripped at Sylvain’s shorts while the other hovered over his mouth, pulling a finger between his teeth as he muffled his moans. 

He began to pick up the pace, before realizing something was lacking. “Hold on, we should probably lube you up.”

Dimitri opened his eyes that were once squeezed shut with pleasure, managing, “R-right, do you have some-- _ah!_ ” His voice caught in his throat when Sylvain licked a stripe from the base of his cock to his blushing tip, a playful smirk upon his lips from catching him off guard. He repeated the motion a few more times, reveling in the breathy sounds escaping his friend’s lips before he hovered his tongue over him, letting saliva trickle down onto the head of his dick. His piercing gaze met Dimitri’s lidded azure eyes among the warm sea of his flushed face and Sylvain grinned mischievously.

“There we go!” Sylvain chimed before grasping him to resume his previous pace with more ease, slick sounds filling up the air along with Dimitri’s suppressed moans. His heart was pounding in his chest at the realization that he was getting his childhood friend off right now. _Was this his first time with someone else?_ He was so receptive, bucking into Sylvain’s hand and moaning desperately. This whole time, his roommate had been this cute, sensitive, and touch-starved. 

As he focused his strokes on the tip of his cock and tightened his grip, Dimitri’s nails dug into his thigh and the rise and fall of his chest became more erratic. “I… _mnh_ , you should… I-- I’m close…” 

Sylvain got so caught up in the moment that he completely forgot that this is for a video, and it wasn’t just him pleasuring his roommate. _Right…_ “Oh, shit-- sorry,” with his free hand, he grabbed his phone and swiped to the camera. Remembering the aggression in Dimitri’s gaze when he ordered him not to get his face in the shot, Sylvain captured everything below his head. It didn’t take long after he started recording for Dimitri’s hips to arch toward Sylvain as he came with a cry that made his own cock twitch in his shorts, painting his upper body with cum. _Had he always been this hot?_ He stroked him through his orgasm, gradually slowing to a stop when Dimitri’s legs stopped trembling around him.

“Hey, good job!” Sylvain beamed and held his hand up for a high-five, which Dimitri reluctantly complied to in his haze and their hands collided weakly. 

“...Thank you.”

Pride bloomed in Sylvain’s chest as he watched the video a couple more times before sending it to Byleth. It was only about ten seconds long, but he couldn’t help that Dimitri came so quickly after recording. Trying to ignore the raging erection in his shorts, he remarked, “Oh, she’ll love this.” 

After taking enough time to catch his breath, Dimitri pulled his pants back up and made his way to the bathroom to clean himself up. “Ugh, I got some on my face!” Sylvain heard his voice echo from across the room and he burst into laughter. However, his carefree moment came to a screeching halt at the response from Byleth.

byleth <3:  
_omg i meant of you jacking off not you jacking someone else off_  
11:23pm

He felt his heart drop to his stomach and his cheeks burned with embarrassment.

“Umm… we have a problem.”

“What?” Dimitri barked and came back to the couch, cum-covered washcloth in hand. Sylvain held his phone up to his roommate’s curious gaze and he could see the moment that realization hit him in the face. “Oh.”

“How was I supposed to know that’s what she meant?!” Sylvain cried, noticing then that he also had some of his spend on his hand. 

“R… Right?!” Dimitri exclaimed, blushing furiously. He was still sweaty and his hair was a disheveled mess; he also missed a few spots of cum on his chest. They groaned in unison and let gravity sink them down into the couch cushions. “I am so sorry,” Dimitri apologized with a twinge of panic in his voice. “I…”

Sylvain shook his head. “It was just a misunderstanding,” he looked over at his friend, “plus, you enjoyed yourself, right?” He winked at him playfully, and somehow, Dimitri’s face and ears managed a deeper red than before. _Cute…_ Another buzz from his phone shook him from his trance and reminded him that he never responded to Byleth’s text.

byleth <3:  
_who was that, though? he’s pretty big… >u>_  
11:26pm

Sylvain deleted her number.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! :3
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/softmatchabun) if u want!
> 
> edit: i’m gonna make this a series!! i already have sum ideas for the next part :~)


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